


you don't have to change a thing, the world could change its heart

by lucianowriter



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Fluff, M/M, Stiles FBI, Talk about feelings, post 6b
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-20
Updated: 2017-11-20
Packaged: 2019-02-04 14:02:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,391
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12772599
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lucianowriter/pseuds/lucianowriter
Summary: Monroe has left and things are starting to settle down. Maybe now would be the time for Stiles and Derek to have that talk they’ve been meaning to have for some time now.





	you don't have to change a thing, the world could change its heart

It was 10 in the morning on the Monday after the last showdown with Monroe. Derek hadn't bothered getting up his usual early time because he had gotten plenty of running in the last few days, all courtesy of his wolf. Ever since he'd came into contact with Stiles again after almost a year and half he'd been antsy. At first he chalked it off as anxious energy for the fight. Now that the fight had been over for a few days and things had settled a bit, he knew the antsy feeling was something entirely different. His wolf was happy to be around Stiles; it wanted him to do something about it.

Just then a soft knock sounds on the door. It's so soft that Derek wonders if he imagined it. He faintly hears a heartbeat and a few muttered words. The person on the other side was definitely battling with whether or not they wanted to be there. Derek crosses the loft to his door while focusing more on the heartbeat. The frantic beat means his visitor could only be one person. Stiles.

With a quiet sigh and silent curse to the powers that be Derek shifts the door open. This was clearly unexpected because Stiles yelps in surprise and then immediately shuffles his feet timidly.

“Stiles. Why are you here?” Derek makes sure to mask his wolf's joy by sounding gruff.

“I wanted to talk.” Stiles shuffles his hand through his hair and gives a soft chuckle. He's clearly nervous.

“I got that. I meant why are you here? In Beacon Hills. Aren't you supposed to be back in Virginia?” Derek crosses his arms to seem more intimidating, but he knew from experience that Stiles hadn't ever really been intimidated by him.

“I thought you stopped that creepy stalker thing.” Stiles volleys back taking advantage of a subject change. His demeanor even perks up to almost normal Stiles level.

“Stiles.” Derek growls not falling for his banter.

“Ok ok. Could we at least migrate to inside of the loft? It's awkward standing out here this long.” Stiles gives his best puppy eyes. Derek wonders if he knows that could get him the world.

“I own the building.” Derek is purposely delaying Stiles’ entrance because he has no idea what will happen with his wolf once he's inside.

“You own...what?” Stiles splutters. It's very clear that he was unaware of Derek's wealth.

“I own the building. I bought it with my inheritance money. Didn't Scott ever tell you?” Derek explains, still not letting Stiles enter his home. In fact, he was quite enjoying the back and forth between them; he'd missed it.

“No! When did you tell him?” Stiles practically screams in shock, before reeling it back in. “Know what? Doesn't matter. This isn't what I came here for.”

“So I ask again, why are you here?” Derek remains his closed off gruff self, but when Stiles momentarily looks at his shoe Derek allows an amused smirk to cross his face.

“Oh my god! Okay, fine. I leave tomorrow. I pushed it back so we could talk.” Stiles huffs a bit in what seems to Derek mock protest.

“I didn't realize I was more important than Lydia.” Derek's jab is bait in the hopes that Stiles’ words imply exactly what he thinks they do.

With that he moves aside and finally let's Stiles into his loft.

“Well, see I wanted to talk to you about that.” Stiles comes in the loft, only to immediately start pacing. All his nervous energy is putting Derek on edge, but he pushes it aside to help Stiles.

“Me?” Derek is taken aback once he actually processes Stiles’ words. He had hoped for moments like this where Stiles would come to him, but he never thought it'd actually happen.

“It's complicated. More than you'd think. I just thought since you usually only huff at my ramblings that you'd be a better person than Scott. Scott is impatient and asks lots of questions, you just listen and let me finish before reacting.” Stiles stops his pacing when the words stop flowing. Derek doesn't say anything, but secretly he's glad Stiles stopped. The movement was making him restless.

“Why me? All the relationships I've ever had failed. Not exactly advice worthy.” Derek challenges Stiles’ confidence in him.

“Not all. Paige died while she still loved you, so that one doesn't count.” Stiles is standing over by Derek's book shelf with his back to Derek. If he'd been facing him, maybe he would've seen the moment of shock on Derek's face before he masks it again.

“I'm not even gonna ask how you know that.” Derek intones with barely any emotion in his voice.

“Peter.” Stiles mutters without turning around. Derek watches as he traces his finger down the spines of several books. Suddenly a scent permeates the air, a scent he hasn't smelled directed towards him in years. The scent reminds him of his mom, it's one of love and fondness.

Derek silently stands there observing Stiles. He is fond of the idea of Stiles inspecting his literary tastes; he's even more fond of Stiles approving of them. He also knows that Stiles gets down to business faster if left to his own pace. Pushing Stiles only resulted in more redirection and avoidance.

“I think Lydia is just a distraction.” Stiles says finally. He grabs a book from the shelf and plops his body down across Derek's couch.

“Oh.” Derek doesn't really know what to make of Stiles’ declaration. “A distraction from what?”

“Not what. Who.” Stiles opens the book and starts to read. He hasn't made eye contact with Derek since entering the loft and that's unsettling a bit. Derek is so confused about what is going on.

“A distraction from Malia?” Derek asks finally. He thinks he remembers Stiles mentioning before that they dated.

Stiles doesn't immediately answer. It's as if he didn't hear Derek. However, just as Derek is about to repeat himself Stiles speaks.

“I almost forgot how dense you are. Malia was a flight of fancy; ages ago.” Stiles places his finger in the book and puts it down so that he can finally make eye contact with Derek.

The look he gives Derek takes him off guard. He isn't expecting all of the care and compassion he finds there. There is also a hint of something else, a hesitation. Though why Derek is not quite sure.

“I thought dating Lydia was going to make me happy; after everything I went through with the Nogitsune and then Donovan. I was wrong. I'm still not ok.” Stiles bites his lip and looks away from Derek once more. His demeanor is fully open and vulnerable. Derek has never realized just how many walls Stiles has until this moment. Stiles’ walls are just as deep as his, if not deeper.

Derek moves closer to Stiles. He has an unexplained desire to place his hand on the younger man's shoulder. He reaches his hand out and hesitates. Then Stiles moves slightly and sighs. Derek can't stop what happens next even if he wanted to.

Derek lets his hand fall softly onto Stiles’ shoulder where he gives it a little squeeze. The words he says next are chosen slowly and with care.

“You think I am?” Stiles turns at the sound of the voice whispering directly in his ear. He looks into Derek's eyes and sees a compassion most people miss.

“I just figured you'd dealt with it. You never talk about it.” Stiles replies, sitting up so that Derek can move onto the couch next to him. However, Derek starts pacing the room a bit.

Derek doesn't respond so Stiles continues talking. “Anyways, after the fiasco with Donovan I've been just trying to hold on to who I was before.”

“You are acting as if I know what you are talking about.” Derek stops and stands right in front of Stiles’ position on the couch.

“What creepy stalker wolf ends at my love life?” Stiles quips back sarcastically. Derek knows this is just his way of slowing himself down so he can process what needs to be said.

“Stiles.” Derek's voice is stern, but not harsh.

“Right. Ok. So, senior year, also known as your Beacon Hills hiatus, there was this kid who threatened me and my father because my dad arrested him. Anyways, we were cornered in the school library…” Stiles stops. Derek watches quietly as he counts each of his slightly shaky fingers. Anxiety. Whatever Stiles needed to tell Derek was something that greatly upset him.

“Let's just say if I was a werewolf my eyes would be blue.” Stiles sucks in his breath to steady it as he speaks the words out loud. Derek can tell this is not something Stiles talks about often.

Derek can no longer be apart from Stiles. His wolf has been itching to touch him again since the shoulder touch only a few minutes ago. Now, he and his wolf both want more than just a little touch of contact. He wants to align his entire body with Stiles and provide all the comfort he can.

The two sit side by side without saying a word. Derek wants to grab Stiles’ hand and squeeze it; letting him know he's there and he understands. However, he holds back because Stiles is dating Lydia. Even if he says she's just a distraction there's a chance he still cares for her.

In the end, his desire to show Stiles he knows and understands wins out. Slowly, but confidently Derek takes hold of the man's hand. It is softer than he could have ever imagined it being. Stiles’ fingers are long and bony compared to Derek's more average ones. The fingers tap each other a few minutes before Stiles makes eye contact with Derek and their fingers link.

Without a word Stiles leans forward and kisses Derek on the lips. Derek is taken aback at first. It doesn't take him long to recover. In fact, within seconds he has turned his body so that their chests are touching. Derek removes his hand from Stiles’ only to place both of them in Stiles’ hair. He tries to put all of his sympathy and care into this kiss. He wants Stiles to know just how much he understands the feelings Stiles is tormented by as a result of Donovan.

When they finally do part, Derek searches Stiles’ face for any indication of what he is thinking. He's expecting to find confusion or maybe even a little excitement, not shame and dismay.

“Stiles?” Derek asks tentatively, unsure what Stiles is thinking and is therefore unsure what to say to him.

“I can't do this.” Stiles says hurriedly as he jumps up, moving as if he's searching for something.

Derek watches Stiles flail around the loft a bit all while processing what just happened. He isn't sure how something so intimate and great could've suddenly turned so wrong.

“Not this!” Stiles motions his hands around, “but this.” He does the same motion of his hands again before bolting out the door.

Derek stares at the door even more confused than before. He hadn't understood a single thing Stiles had said to justify his reaction to the kiss. Maybe he didn't feel the way Derek had thought. But then why initiate the kiss?

Derek decides the events that had just transpired must be all a dream he has yet to wake up from.

 

Derek doesn't hear anything else about Stiles for a week. When Scott comes by Derek's loft to work with him on finding other wolves, Derek decides that he needs to know about Stiles.

“So, after Monroe fled Stiles came to see me.” Derek says casually as Scott types things into the internet search.

Scott doesn't even look up from the laptop as he replies. “I know. He told me when I dropped him off at the airport the next day.”

“Is he ok?” Derek doesn't want to sound too eager, but Stiles had been freaked out when he'd left.

“Whatever was said when he came here prompted him to go and break up with Lydia.” Scott finally looks up from the screen. He is looking expectantly at Derek; like he wants Derek to fill in the blanks. If only Derek could.

“All that happened was he said to me that his relationship with Lydia was a distraction and something about someone named Donovan.” Derek doesn't tell Scott everything, but he also doesn't lie.

“He told you about Donovan?!” Scott puts the laptop away and actually gives Derek his full attention now.

“Sort of.” Derek sighs, “he didn't say much, but he did mention that it was a fiasco.”

“Oh.” Scott replies. Nothing more, just that.

“What exactly happened?” Derek softens his tone more than he usually does with Scott in the hopes that he'll open up.

“If he didn't say I probably shouldn't either.” Scott chickens out.

“Scott.” Derek returns to his stern demeanor. No more playing around. He needs to know what is going on in Stiles head.

“Ok, but if he gets mad this is all on you.” Scott throws up his hands in defeat. He gets up and moves to the windows before continuing.

“It was a few months after you first left. Stiles and I weren't exactly on the best of terms, he didn't trust someone and I did. So we barely spoke as a result. Then one night he was cornered in the school library by some kid who'd threatened him and his dad. According to Stiles a fight ensued and the kid ended up getting killed by a pole impaling him. I wasn't there so I don't know the specifics.”

“He tells you everything, so wouldn't he have at least talked to you about it?” Derek is watching as Scott stares out the window and doesn't turn.

“I'm not proud of it but, like I said Stiles and I weren't exactly on speaking terms when this happened. I didn't know about it until the person he didn't trust, Theo, told me something had happened. He didn't say what he just planted the seed of question in my head. Needless to say I handled the situation poorly. I didn't listen to Stiles as he tried to tell me and we ended up fractured beyond repair. The only thing that brought our friendship back was an agreement to always listen and trust each other. That's the last we spoke of Donovan.” Scott finally turns around and Derek sees that he is clearly still wrecked by the events of the past.

Whatever it was that happened was clearly still terrifying to Stiles. To the point that he is afraid to even talk about it. Derek wants so badly to pull Stiles to him in a hug, but unfortunately Stiles is now back in Virginia.

Derek pushes thoughts of Stiles aside in order to focus once more on finding vulnerable werewolves. Even though he's not an Alpha anymore he feels like this is exactly what his mother would've done. Saving other wolves makes him feel like he's finally living up to the Hale legacy and making her proud. It doesn't escape his notice that for the second time in a week Stiles has led him to thoughts of his mom. That's got to mean something for them.

“I'm actually surprised he went back to Virginia.” Scott’s voice suddenly breaks through Derek’s thoughts.

“The FBI is his life’s ambition.” Derek intones unemotionally. He doesn't even look up from the map he's been studying.

“Yeah, but after recent events he seemed conflicted about leaving again. He told me he wasn't sure the FBI was the most important thing in his life anymore.” Scott’s gaze bores into Derek’s consciousness.

Derek looks up to find Scott right next to him. His look is one of someone who knows something but won't be the one to voice it out loud. Derek has a strong feeling he knows what it is.

Derek is the one thing Stiles finds more important than the FBI.

“But he shouldn't…” Derek starts, but finds that he can't even argue against something he wants so strongly.

“When has Stiles ever done what is good for him?” Scott replies knowingly. “But if you're asking me I'd say you ARE what's good for him.”

 

After Scott leaves Derek paces his loft a bit before he opens up his laptop. He pulls up a travel site. Derek types in Virginia before he can stop himself or back out. He picks a flight for the next day and pays without taking a breath.

Staring at the ticket he has printed out, Derek wonders if he should warn Stiles he is coming. Derek realizes he doesn't even know where Stiles lives. This answers his question for him. He pulls out his newly purchased phone and is about to call Stiles when he realizes a better idea. He waits for the other end to pick up.

“If you're selling anything I don't want it!” A shrewd, but familiar voice picks up.

“Lydia! It's Derek.” Derek rolls his eyes and wonders why he thought getting a phone was a good idea.

Oh yeah. Stiles convinced him.

“Derek! When did you get a phone?” Lydia shrieks really loud in Derek's ear.

“Not important.” Derek replies. He is two seconds away from saying fuck it and getting the information directly from Stiles. Then he remembers Stiles would be reacting similarly.

Derek tunes back into the phone call to hear Lydia blathering on about how great it was Derek now has a phone.

“Lydia!” Derek finally growls out; cutting her off, “you tell anyone my number I'll rip your throat out with my teeth.”

“Yeah sure Derek. We are all aware of how harmless you really are.” Lydia laughs.

Derek rolls his eyes with a sigh; regretting ever letting down his walls around these teens.

“I called for a specific reason. That's it.” Derek says finally, “I need Stiles’ address in Virginia.”

“Oh. My. God!” Lydia replies breathlessly and Derek can hear her brain planning even through the phone.

“Lydia. Don't.” Derek warns.

“What?” Lydia asks in fake innocence.

“You know what.” Derek intones sternly. He has no patience for Lydia’s femininity in this moment. “Can I get the address or not?”

“Ok, but can I say that I think it's about damn time.” Lydia replies, Derek can see her knowing look in his mind. Did everyone know about his feelings?

Lydia gives him the address and, with a clear smile in her voice, says good bye.

 

Derek walks into the airport from the plane. He knows there won’t be anybody there to greet him, there never is. In fact, he is severely annoyed by the people who are there to greet passengers. Their cheerfulness and happy attitude grates on Derek’s nerves.

No one should ever be that happy at the airport.

Derek pushes past all the people huddling near the baggage claim. He had brought only himself and a small carry on so he had no need for that cluster fuck.

“Excuse me.” The woman trying to get past Derek is glaring at him so strongly that Derek could feel the heat.

Derek grumbles under his breath about people feeling entitled to their own space even in a crowd. This is why Derek hates groups of people. He can’t stand it when people tell him to either move or move faster for no other reason than to be rude.

Derek pushes his bag up on his shoulder and pushes his way through all the people milling around. He makes his way over to the car rental kiosk. Getting out of this hell as soon as possible is the most ideal.

Derek steps up to the kiosk just as his phone makes a beeping noise. He rolls his eyes, grumbles, and then searches to find which pocket he put it in. Once he finds his phone, Derek quickly reads the message and puts it back in the same pocket.

“Sorry. Derek Hale. I reserved a car yesterday.” Derek looks at the attendant expectantly; even emphasizing his statement through his eyebrows when she doesn’t immediately respond.

“Well sir. I can’t find your name in our system.” The woman looks up from the computer screen, clearly apologetic.

“I have a confirmation email right here. I need a car. How else am I supposed to get where I’m going in this godforsaken place?” Derek growls back at her, he is clenching his fists to keep his wolf from coming out.

“I can try to look again. But if I don’t find it the best I can do is a minivan.” The woman isn’t to blame, Derek knows that. He even kind of wants to apologize to her, but he’s already too annoyed at the world to bother.

“I guess that’s fine. If it’s the best you can do.” Derek grumbles.

The woman looks at him sympathetically before handing him the keys to the minivan. Derek can’t believe his luck. He tried to do something grand and unexpected for Stiles and he gets thwarted left and right. A minivan was still a mode of transportation, but he could hear Stiles’ ridicule already.

Derek grumbles all the way to Stiles’ apartment complex. He’s even still grumbling when he reaches Stiles’ front door. He reads through the names on the buzzer. Halfway down he finds “STILINSKI”. He presses the button. After what seems like an hour he gets a response through the buzzer.

“Yo! That was fast.” Stiles’ voice rings out before Derek hears the buzz and click that signals the door has been unlocked.

Derek opens the door and walks up to Stiles’ apartment on the 3rd floor. Once he reaches it he loses nerve. What was he doing? This wasn’t like Derek to go cross country after a stupid, spazzy human.

He takes a deep breath and knocks.

“Just a minute!” Stiles’ voice rings out before the door opens a few minutes later.

Stiles’ reaction to Derek’s presence is immediate. His hand drops from the doorknob and he can’t speak; even though his mouth keeps moving open and closed.

“For an FBI trainee you really are stupid. I could’ve been here to rob or kill you.” Derek says, he gives a stern look before huffing and rolling his eyes.

“I thought you were the Chinese delivery guy.” Stiles finally gets his bearings and goes on the defense.

“Do I look like I’d be delivering Chinese food?” Derek gives Stiles a look. He makes it a bit suggestive in the hope that Stiles picks up on it and continues the banter.

“You can deliver my Chinese food any day.” Stiles immediately responds with a long slow look down his body.

Derek huffs and rolls his eyes, but there is no sincerity behind it and Stiles knows that. Stiles steps aside and motions for Derek to enter. Derek walks past him, but the minute Stiles closes the door he realizes he can’t contain his wolf any longer. He crowds Stiles up against the door and immediately starts to subtly scent him. Before he can get too far however, Stiles has pushed him back a bit.

“Woah! Easy there Sourwolf! I love a good walk down memory lane as much as the next guy, but maybe you could start with why you are here.” Stiles presses his hands on Derek’s chest to give himself some space, but then he doesn’t let go.

Derek takes that to mean he doesn’t mind their closeness, just that he wants an explanation. So, Derek grabs Stiles’ hand and drags him towards his old, lumpy couch a few feet away. He then pulls Stiles down with him and works up the nerve to talk. He doesn’t really know where to start. Does he start with their encounter recently at his loft? Or does he talk about how he felt so strongly about Stiles he had to leave; to give him as normal a life as possible?

Derek makes a decision and opens his mouth to speak, just as the buzzer goes off. This time it really is the Chinese delivery guy.

While Stiles stands at the door and pays for the food, Derek questions whether or not he’s allowed to even let himself take this step with Stiles. Didn’t Stiles deserve a chance to make a life for himself outside of Beacon Hills?

“What’s got you so worked up tough guy?” Stiles’ voice is soft and concerned. Derek hadn’t even noticed that he’d returned to the couch.

“I…” Derek starts and then stops. “Can we be totally and completely honest for just a few minutes?”

“Ok. What’s going on? First you show up at my place with no warning and no explanation. Now you want to get serious. Are you ok? Is my dad ok? Oh my god! Something happened to my dad or Scott!” Stiles goes from concern to panic in no time at all.

“Stiles!” Derek cuts in and grabs Stiles’ hands to capture his full attention. “There is nothing wrong in Beacon Hills. I’m here because we need to talk.”

Stiles looks into Derek’s face. His panic dies down slowly, the longer he keeps eye contact with Derek. Derek lets his hands slowly move from his hands to his cheek. Then without breaking eye contact Derek leans in and presses his lips to Stiles’. The kiss starts off tentative and slow. Stiles hesitates before moving his hands to Derek’s hair; pulling him in closer.

This kiss is like none Derek has ever experienced before; including his previous one with Stiles only days ago. It’s like when a starved person gets food after a long time. It’s the most delicious thing you’ve ever eaten no matter what it really is. Derek is that starved person, only he’s not desperate for food; he’s desperate for another’s touch.

Before Derek knows it Stiles is tugging on his hand. The signal is clear. Stiles wants to go to the bedroom. Derek practically jumps up from the couch. It crosses his mind to wonder what sex with Stiles will be like. He’s had sex with many partners over the years but ever since those innocent, lust filled days of Kate Argent it has lacked meaning. With Stiles he figures it will mean something again.

“Wait.” Stiles stops just outside his door and turns to face Derek.

Derek freaks, his mind going into the dark places he tries to avoid. What if he somehow pressured Stiles into this just by being here? What if it’s all in his head?

The touch of Stiles’ hand on his cheek brings him back into the present. The look of loving concern is the only thing keeping him from bolting our the door.

“I just want to be sure this is what you want; that we’re doing the right thing.” Stiles’ voice is soft and he isn’t breaking eye contact.

Derek doesn’t reply he just leans forward and kisses Stiles. They don’t even break apart as Stiles opens the door and they stumble in. Their movements are rushed and messy as they get undressed. Derek is trying to undo his belt when Stiles tries to help, this causes Derek’s elbow to jab Stiles and he cries out in surprise. They stop their movements entirely for a few seconds as they grin and stare into each other’s eyes. The absurdity of them acting like a couple of young virginal teenagers eases the tension that had been building ever so slightly.

 

Derek wakes up to the sounds of traffic. The only light is coming from street lamps outside. Based on the slight paleness of the sky he estimates it to be early morning. He feels a weight on his arm the more awake he becomes. Derek glances over and sees Stiles’ calm demeanor sleeping next him. The memories of what had transpired between them rushes to Derek’s mind and he can’t fight the smile that takes over his face.

Never in a million years did Derek ever believe he could feel this happy; this complete with someone else. He truly felt that Kate had destroyed that in him. Knowing that he could still feel and experience love was the best feeling in the world.

With a contented sigh Derek extracts his arm out from under Stiles’ head. He gets up from the bed and walks across the room to the bathroom. Quietly he turns on the water at the sink and splashed his face. Even more awake the feeling of contentment doesn’t subside. Derek could see himself spending the rest of his life like this. Unfortunately he knows the reality, in the light of day Stiles could change his mind. Everything great about this moment could fall apart the moment reality sets in. After all their lives, especially his, was not in the clear yet. Monroe was still out there manipulating the fears of humans against all supernatural.

Derek feels arms wrap around his torso from behind. Even without looking he knows that it is Stiles. A smile creeps onto his lips as he thinks about how good it feels to have those arms around his body. He can tell that Stiles is wearing a shirt. Derek brings one of Stiles hands up towards his mouth to kiss it, that’s when he sees the grey fabric of the shirt he wore to Virginia. He smiles into Stiles’ hand. A warm feeling erupts from his heart at the thought of Stiles wearing his clothes.

“We need to talk.” Stiles’ words break through his fog and bring a chill to his heart.

Derek moves out of Stiles’ embrace. He can’t look at Stiles out of fear for what he will find there. Derek crosses to the couch. Thoughts of all the things Stiles could say next rush through his head.

“Hey. Big guy! It’s not bad. I just think there is more to this that we haven’t yet talked about. You showed up here last night, said a few vague things, and then we immediately fell into bed. Not saying that it wasn’t fun, because damn was it fantastic. I just think we need to talk about what all this means.” Stiles only pauses his rambling to take a breathe, but continues the pacing he had started.

“Stiles.” Derek cuts in shortly.

“Huh?” Stiles stops pacing and finally stares at Derek’s face. They exchange a look with a raised eyebrow before Stiles plops down on the couch next to Derek.

“So…” Stiles says after an awkward silence falls between them for a few minutes.

“I didn’t come all the way here for nothing.” Derek replies with a knowing look.

“Ok. Then why did you come?” Stiles is quick to reply, but his jiggling knee gives away how nervous he is.

“You know why.” Derek’s voice is soft; he leans over and places his hand inside Stiles’.

“I want to hear you say it.” Stiles whispers, rubbing his thumb on Derek’s.

“I came here for you.” Derek finally mutters. He looks at his hands, nervously thinking about all the ways Stiles could reject him in this moment.

“Derek,” Stiles’ words precede his hand gently cupping Derek’s neck. “Please look at me. I want to know what’s going on in that head of yours big guy.”

Derek doesn’t immediately look up. He knows what he wants to say. He just doesn’t know how to say it.

“I left for me. After Mexico I mean.” Derek starts as he turns his head slightly to look at Stiles. “I regretted not talking to you first though. I wasn’t fair to you. Then I came back a year later and things between us were weird and awkward. Then I made it worse.”

“How? You think things are worse?” Stiles replies teaching out and taking Derek’s hand. “It’s always been about timing with us. When Mexico happened I was still wrapped up in Lydia. I didn’t see the connection between us that was clearly there. There were times over the past year that I wanted to reach out to you. I didn’t know how and I couldn’t bring myself to even try.”

Derek lets Stiles’ words fall between them. The silence grows as Derek tries to formulate the right response. With a sigh he stands up and stares straight down at Stiles.

“When I kissed you, you ran.”

“I was still technically dating Lydia; even though I was no longer invested in it.” Stiles replies immediately, giving Derek a semi-quizzical look.

“You are annoyingly cute sometimes.” Derek laughs, breaking the tension that had started to build between them.

Stiles doesn’t give an answer, he just sits and starts fiddling with his hands. Derek doesn’t interrupt him. From experience he knows that Stiles is working through something.

“I’m not the same person you left behind.” Stiles’ voice rings out, drawing Derek back into the present.

“What?” Derek doesn’t have time to filter his response before it comes out of his mouth.

“Things happened. I killed a person. I disappeared. I’m not the same.” Stiles explains himself further.

“I’ve killed people. I’ve disappeared. We all change.” Derek shrugs and squats down in front of Stiles. “You’re not a monster.”

“What if I am? I killed someone. That means I’m no longer a good person.” Stiles’ voice is meek and shaky.

“If I’m not a monster then you definitely aren’t. I’ve done things that are far worse.” Derek leans forward and clasps the younger man’s hand inside his own.

“I killed one of my friends! That makes me a monster. You can’t argue that it wasn’t me because if it hadn’t been me then I wouldn’t remember it, but I do.”

“And I killed my family. Stiles we could go back and forth all day long trying to convince each other of our guilt, but instead why don’t we focus on the now. Focus on us.” Derek pulls Stiles up from the couch. Once they are both on level with each other Derek brings his hand to Stiles’ cheek.

“Why me?” Stiles’ voice is barely above a whisper but his eyes scream much louder. Derek sees the insecurity that is just below the surface.

“You are endearingly human. You face some of the worst our town has to offer and instead of it making you more scared you joined the FBI. You are stronger than you realize. While your rambling sometimes drives me insane I feel isolated and alone without it. You give my life meaning that has been missing ever since my family died.” Derek passionately reassured Stiles without breaking eye contact.

Instead of speaking Stiles leans forward and connects their lips in a kiss. Derek feels all the words he knows Stiles can’t say. Their kiss is interrupted by a loud piercing ring. Stiles leans back and looks questioningly at Derek.

“Dude! When did you get a phone?” Stiles’ voice is bordering on mocking.

“How do you know that’s not your phone?” Derek deflects easily.

“Because all my ringtones are personalized. None of that default sound crap.” Stiles replies, his wicked grin getting bigger and bigger with each passing second.

Derek rolls his eyes and pulls out his phone.

“Hello Scott. Yeah I’m in Virginia.” Derek turns away from Stiles as he speaks.

Derek listens as Scott rattles on about a kid he has discovered in Oregon; another werewolf. Derek is trying to figure out what Scott needs him for, because as it stands Scott is the Alpha.

“So I need you to come back and help smooth things over. Peter said that your mom used to be friends with this kid’s pack. We need to move soon because Monroe is still out there. She’s managed to kill a few supernaturals in the last few days.”

When Scott pauses to catch a breath Derek takes his moment to speak.

“Sure. I’ll catch a flight out to California tonight and we can drive there together. Bye.” Derek hangs up and then turns back to see Stiles’ shocked face.

“You’re working with Scott?” He manages after a moment's pause between them.

“Monroe hasn’t stopped hunting. We haven’t stopped protecting. That requires me to work with Scott and sometimes Argent.” Derek replies shortly. He heads back towards the bedroom. He is only wearing boxers so he needs to get dressed.

He hears Stiles follow not far behind him. He knows from the silence that more than likely Stiles is freaking out. He turns around and opens his arms for Stiles to fall into him. Stiles does and nuzzles his head into the crook of Derek’s neck.

“You have work here to do and I have work with Scott to do. This isn’t a one time thing. I may be leaving but I’ll come back. We are together now.” Derek whispers into Stiles’ ear as he pulls him in tighter.

“I’ll even give you my number. Call me anytime. As soon as I’m done helping Scott I’ll be back.” Derek continues as he pulls himself away.

“Do you know what you’re getting into by giving me your number? I mean tons of incessant text messages every single day. Got that tough guy?” Stiles steps away with a chuckle and a gleam in his eye. It’s a look Derek hasn’t seen on him since before the nogitsune.

Derek gives a small smile as he puts on his jeans. He likes knowing that he put that look back on Stiles’ face. They may have both changed but they were still themselves. Just as Derek pulls on a clean Henley from his bag he hears a ding on his phone. The chuckle from across the room tells everything.

_From: 785-222-5454_

_Hey Sourwolf. Just in case you forget the feeling of this morning._

_< image attached>_

Derek looks at the photo. It’s one of the two of them laying in bed. Derek is still asleep, but smiling. Stiles is tucked into his side and looking even more blissed than the Stiles standing before him is.

“Thank you.” Derek says as he leans forward and kisses Stiles. “I’ve gotta go. I’ll let you know when I get there.”

With that Derek leaves Stiles once more. Only this time he didn’t regret it. He knew things were much better this time; different.

 

**Author's Note:**

> Kudos and comments are love! So spread the love! Thanks!


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